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Caraganza Review 2025 Infiniti QX80: Massages, Mood Lighting, and Momentary Delusion

I’ve never eaten caviar. Never sipped Dom Perignon from a crystal chalice while being fanned by someone named Sven. I was raised middle class—perhaps slightly off to the side—but certainly not in a way that included private schools, nannies, or trust funds. Sure, I’ve done alright in life, but nobody joins the military for the retirement package or to one day own a yacht moored off Saint-Tropez.

Normally I fly once or twice a month. Always coach. Because I work as a motorsports journalist—another profession not exactly known for its financial rewards—and I’m the one footing the bill. If I’m lucky, I get an exit row. If I’m really lucky, the person next to me doesn’t smell like beef jerky and regret.

Still, life occasionally throws you a champagne-scented curveball. Recently, for reasons I still don’t understand, I was upgraded to first class. Seat 1A. For just over an hour, I was treated like a tech CEO who’d just sold his crypto startup to Google. “Drink, sir? Snack, sir? Pillow?” Why yes, I believe I will. And while there was no crystal chalice or string quartet playing Coldplay instrumentals, for one glorious hour, I was above it all—literally and figuratively.

Then, just as quickly, it ended. Back to reality. Bills, coupons, BOGO freezer pizzas.

But last week, reality took another brief vacation when Infiniti sent over their newly redesigned 2025 QX80, top-tier Autograph trim. MSRP: $115,202. And for a week, I was once again back in seat 1A.

Now I’ve known the QX80 for years. Like an old cruise ship that kept sailing long after it should’ve been mothballed. The 2024 model? Serviceable. But it was showing its age like a ’90s celebrity on their fifth round of filler.

For 2025, though, Infiniti has thrown the entire thing out and started fresh. And the result is… well, finally worthy of its price tag.

This isn’t just a facelift. This is plastic surgery, a new wardrobe, a personal stylist, and a name change. It’s as if the QX80 went away to Europe for a year and came back with a silk scarf, a new accent, and a distaste for domestic beer.

Let’s start with the engine. The old V8 is gone, replaced by a twin-turbo V6 making 450 horsepower. It’s quieter, quicker, and a smidge more efficient, though let’s be honest—nobody is buying this thing for its EPA rating. Power delivery is smooth, and thanks to a new nine-speed automatic, it never feels like it’s struggling to move its yacht-like mass.

Speaking of mass, it still drives like a very large SUV. Because it is a very large SUV. But the air suspension, standard on all but the base trim, does its best to hide that fact. It’s not nimble, but it’s composed. Think aircraft carrier with a competent captain.

Inside is where things get truly first class. The materials? Gorgeous. The dashboard? Dramatic and digital. You get not one but two 14.3-inch displays that are crisp, fast, and finally something that doesn’t feel like it was designed during the Clinton administration.

Infiniti’s new infotainment system is miles ahead of the outgoing version. Built-in Google apps, smart navigation, and enough customization to make you feel like you’re configuring a gaming PC. The optional ProPilot Assist 2.1 can even handle hands-free driving on certain highways, which is perfect if you want to spend your commute pretending you have a chauffeur named Jaques.

Seats? Oh, my. Massage functionality in both rows, heating all the way back to the third row, and an available infrared system that senses if your passengers are overheating and quietly cools them without fanfare. No, seriously. It’s like having an invisible butler. And yes, there’s a built-in cooler in the center console—just big enough for a six-pack of “soda,” energy drink or whatever rich people sip.

This Autograph trim had everything. Every bell, every whistle, every posh-sounding feature you could imagine. You could change the ambient lighting through 64 colors, and I tried all of them just because I could.

Now, is it perfect? No. Over rough pavement the ride gets a bit jittery. It’s still a truck underneath all the velvet. And while it’s massively improved, it’s stepping into a ring full of heavyweights. The Cadillac Escalade, Lincoln Navigator, BMW X7, and Mercedes GLS all play in this space, and some do offer more refinement or badge prestige.

But here’s the thing: for the first time in forever, the QX80 doesn’t feel like a punchline. It feels like a legitimate contender. More importantly, for that one glorious week, I felt like I had made it. Like maybe I could own a yacht. Or at the very least, a really good bottle of scotch. Johnnie Walker Blue, not Black.

And then, just like my first-class upgrade, it ended. The keys were handed back. The seat massagers stopped massaging. The world returned to its natural state—BOGO pizzas and gas station coffee.

But for a few precious days, the 2025 Infiniti QX80 made me feel like I was rich again.

And I’ll drink to that—even if it’s not out of a crystal chalice.

The 2025 Infiniti QX80 AWD Autograph
MSRP: $109,900
MSRP (as tested): $115,020
Engine: 3.5 liter V6 450hp @ 5600rpm, 516 lb-ft @ 3600rpm
Transmission: 9-Speed Automatic
Fuel Mileage (EPA est.): 16 mpg City/19 mpg Hwy, 17 combined
Fuel Mileage (as tested in mixed conditions): 18 mpg

Exterior Dimensions
Width, Max w/o mirrors (in) 83.3
Wheelbase (in) 121.0
Track Width, Rear (in) 67.9
Height, Overall (in) 77.9
Length, Overall (in) 211.2
Min Ground Clearance (in) 9.6 – 10 (adjustable)

Interior Dimensions
Passenger Capacity 7
Front Head Room (in) 39.1
Front Shoulder Room (in) 63.8
Front Hip Room (in) 59.9
Front Leg Room (in) 43.8

Second Head Room (in) 37.8
Second Shoulder Room (in) 63.7
Second Hip Room (in) 59.9
Second Leg Room (in) 39.2

Third Head Room (in) 36.2
Third Shoulder Room (in) 63.1
Third Hip Room (in) 51.7
Third Leg Room (in) 32.9
Cargo capacity all seats in place: 22.0 cu.ft.
Maximum Cargo capacity: 101.0 cu.ft.
Gross Vehicle Weight Rating Cap (lbs) 7300
Maximum towing capacity (lbs.) 8,500

Warranty
Basic Miles/km 60,000
Basic Years 4
Corrosion Miles/km Unlimited
Corrosion Years 7
Drivetrain Miles/km 70,000
Drivetrain Years 6
Roadside Assistance Miles/km Unlimited
Roadside Assistance Years 4

 

Greg Engle
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